I am usually a very optimistic person. I try to see the silver lining in every cloud. As a result, every incident, moment or happening, is treated as a learning moment. I have usually found that I learn something new about myself, or my capabilties. I am really quite a positive person. But have no capabilities for gushiness, nor am I a very get out there and be visible kind of gal… I never usually take the initiative to make friends. Infact one of the things that people tell me is that they were drawn to me because I was quieter, and a mysterious… Ofcourse once I get to know you… that all disappears…;-)

Anyway, back to my topic…. I always thought I would never have kids of my own… I didn’t think I would know what to do with them. Sure, when I carried them they never cry or bawl their eyes out, but the thought of the responsibility and messes and what have you, I never thought of having kids as one of my great accomplishment, or desires. Growing up I dreamt of careers and even boyfrinds but never about having kids….

So these are a few things about myself and life in general, I learnt on becoming a mother…

1. I am capable of being a good mom…
2. I always thought kids were great but in the arms of other moms and not mine… until I had and held my own…
3. I never thought it possible to be so blissful and fearful at the same time…
4. I learnt new depths of love… I never thought possible.
5. For some reason, though I have been loved really well growing up and as an adult. I always thought of dying for love of someone as ridiculous and insane, until I held my baby for the first time in my arms…
6. I always thought of looking after babies as a chore, until my own… then I realised it is a labour of love…
7. I never thought I would be capable of being a mom… I am a trifle bit too selfish… But I now realise, that all it took was a priority shift… and it isn’t really difficult to be selfless at all…
8. I learnt that my career ambitions are not really a priority and the most important thing in my life but that my family is…
9. I learnt that I am not really scared of little babies and that they are really not as delicate as I thought they were… 
10. I realised I am a baby person after all!!! & not baby phobic…
11. There are a whole lot more…. but I guess the post would get to big and too mushy….
12. My thoughts on my 1st born….. given below…

At the Birth of my Baby Girl, Christiana…

The stork came to visit that lovely day
That’s what most folk did have to say
But I know behind it a sweet secret lay…
God had decided to send a special gift my way..

God blessed me most specially that rainy morn’
He sent my little bundle of joy to be born
Not just showers of water but blessings poured down
He anointed my existence with a tiny little crown

A day when I experienced such exquisite bliss
When mother and daughter shared their first kiss
A love so special came to life as I held her in my arms
I’ll love and nurture her through life’s storms and calms